Hiddleston Anonymous

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Please, I want so badly for the good things to happen.

- Sylvia Plath, 3 months before her suicide. (via bl-ossomed)

(Source: isobutane)

Treading Water

I’m supposed to write. Write, and not hurt myself. Not entertain those life ending thoughts. Ha. So here I am, writing about it instead of doing it. I suppose that works. However, I can’t think of a damn thing to say. What is there to say when you are this hopeless and lost? It’s hysterical really. Talk about it, release it, get it out- they say. Um, alright, but you won’t let me cope when I do. How do I pull myself together when my usual needle and thread have been forbidden? Tell me to dive into the mess, but don’t throw me a life vest. Perfect. I’ll just tread water here a bit and hope the undertow won’t take me down.

 

2am

Just the musings of my disturbed mind……..

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Aug 9

Interesting…..

Day one of the weekend almost done. It’s strange that I almost long to be in therapy all day rather than face trying to muddle through my life. Interesting. 

Aug 9

Anyone Awake?

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Aug 8

Do Or Die

First week of intensive therapy almost down. Am I any better yet? I don’t know. I have learned some new things, even with this being my third hospitalization, and I am ruminating on quite a bit, but there are no absolutes, and I am simply taking it one day, one hour, at a time. I do think, however, that my deepest, darkest, scariest, demon is rising to the surface, and I’m going to have to face the mother fucker if I want to get well. Do I want to? Hell fucking no! Do I need to? Probably. Can I do it? Who the fuck knows? I’ll either make it through this, or I’ll die. I know that sounds harsh, but that’s really how dire this situation has become. So wish me luck, and I’ll hope to return to you, my lovelies, soon.

Aug 6

Checking In

Hey guys, sorry I’ve been gone so long. Just wanted to check in and let you all know I’m still here, just on a bit of a break. This shit I’m going through, and trying to deal with, is overwhelming and time consuming, and I am exhausted. But I’m making progress, so that’s what matters. I miss you all so much. And, remember, if you need to speak to me, you can sill message me. I pop on here and there, when I can. 

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Aug 3

Purging

Curious as to what my day was like yesterday? This was it. This was all. My entire fucking day and night.

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Aug 2

And So It Begins….

The girl who wasn’t allowed to cry, the girl who swallowed her tears for 33 years is finally letting it out. And fucking hell, it ain’t pretty. I’m really glad that I am alone for this. 

Aug 2

No Slumber

Need sleep. Want sleep. Can’t sleep. All alone. Empty house. This could be good…….or bad…..or good…..

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Orange Moustache